What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Your face is hilarious.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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