full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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