What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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