Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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