- Anti Joke

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

Immigration Laws

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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