What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Your mam is so fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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