friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Balls

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, the holocaust didn't actually happen, besides I hate jews

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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your face

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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penis. nuff said.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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