Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Your mother is average.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Roses are red, yup.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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