What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops