Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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