- Anti Joke

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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