Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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A storm be brewin!

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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