roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops