What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

Face...tastes like chicken!

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...