Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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poopy is poopy

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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