Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Knock knock come in.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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How did th-A fridge.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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