João Duarte reads this.

What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

who do we all like george goodburn

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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