An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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