What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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