Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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mexicans fishing

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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