What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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What's one plus one? two.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops