Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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