Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops