roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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