Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Matthew Wyckoff

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Iif your reading this ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops