FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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