What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

A dog is always in the pushup position.

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

I asked her where you were.

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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