What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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