What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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