Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops