Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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women's rights

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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