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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

A man walked into a bar owch

What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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