Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Caolan and Eamon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops