Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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