A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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