Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Women's rights.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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