What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops