How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

ur gey

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

Should a pole bump an alarm?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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