Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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well now

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Penis

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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