Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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