Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The cream, it is coming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +9

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops