What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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A bar walks into a man

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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