A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

What happened to the fish? It drowned

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

one stop shop

lol

Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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