An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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