Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Santa isn't real

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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