Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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A man died.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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