Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a white kid named Tyrone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You should read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

eat a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops