Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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I woke up today

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Balls

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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