God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, Knock! Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Can I ask you a question? You just did

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops