Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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