A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

No soap radio

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops